2 Tips and a Wag.

First off, props to the Colbert Nation. With that being said, let us continue.



A "Tip of my Hat" to SNL for this NBA playoff/democratic primary spoof. I was not too fond of Fred Armis' impression of Barrack Obama (mainly because he just sat there and did not say anything), but this video is spot on.





A sad sad sad (did I say sad) "Wag of the Finger" to Father Michael Pfleger. This election year has such potential to bring so many diverse people together, but these remarks do not serve to promote the Gospel of Love that Jesus intended for his disciples to disseminate. They are instead self-serving, and serve only the interest of Father Michael Pfleger. Interestingly enough, Senator Obama has severed all ties with his former controversial congregation. Good job... I am officially disgusted with the lack of wisdom shown by these church leaders.





Finally, a "Tip of the Hat" to Delta airlines. When all other airlines are cutting back on snacks, mph, and even checked bags, you have supplied we wary travelers with a little "eye candy."

This is the end... my only friend, the end.

How cool is it that Oregon (pronounced: Or-e-gen not Or-e-gone... who knew?) put up a museum to honor a 1980s video game! Sike! Too bad, the museum did not embrace the fever that surrounds the video game. They were too concerned with historical accuracy and honoring the pioneers that really did have to ford the rivers.

So, I am chilling in the Portland International Airport waiting for my flight to San Francisco, CA and then off to Pittsburgh, PA (family reunion/birthday party). This is a great time to unload all of the thoughts that have swirled in my head over this past week. Don't say i didn't warn you:

1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTTERS!
   
   It was actually, yesterday. Lover you, baby!
   
   
2. Good Samaritans?
   
   I spent the week with the fine folks of Good Samaritan Regional Medical Center. Which got me to thinking about the New Testament parable in Luke regarding the "Good Samaritan." This ancient story of tolerance, non-discrimination, and racial harmony speaks volumes to our current society. What is great about this parable is that Jesus chose a Samaritan as the hero of the story. Historically, The Samaritans of this time were despised by the story's target audience, the Jews. The Samaritans were also largely taught by their interpretation of history to hate Jews. Therefore, Jesus (always beautiful in His counter cultural/revolutionary teachings) to hold up a socially despised group and make them the heroes was brilliant, and, hopefully, taught/teaches us all about the gifts tolerance and charity! Along with the moral of the story that these gifts often can be found with those whom we would least expect.
   
   
3. Good v. Well?
   
   How are you doing? Good? Well? I typically go with neither. I am a big fan of "perfect," "fabulous," "wonderful," and "great." Therefore, do not try to force your "I am doing well" brain washing on me. What is so bad about saying "I am doing good?"
   Down here, the locals will not even give you a chance to respond with "good" or "well." In fact, 9 times out of 10, if you ask one of our locals how they are doing, they will respond, "Doin' fine. Hope you are." Then you are relegated to a "yes" or a "no."
   
   
4. Oregon Fun Facts
   
   You can not pump your own gas in the big OR, just like Jersey, but without Sloley almost getting thrown off the turnpike for trying to get out of his car and pump his own gas. Shame on you Mr. Wright, for not learning the local customs!

Ford the river?

I am in Oregon this week, and yes, it was via the Oregon Trail (in the sky).



My occupation is Attorney. This means I have very little survival skills but plenty of loot. What to buy from Matt's General Store??? Does he sell Boone's Farm? One thing, I know for sure, I will need loads of oxen for fording!

Check out my "covered wagon" (one of the best rentals ever!)

Are you serious?

Each and every day I find myself wondering, "Is their an insane majority in today's society?" Often the answer to this question is a resounding YES! Case and point this smattering of "newsworthy snippets" I have observed over the past 5 days:

1. Sweetie-gate
   
   Also known as, Presidential candidate Barack Obama referring to a female reporter as "sweetie" whilst dodging her question at a Detroit, MI auto plant. PPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLEEEAAAASSSSSSE Eddy! Who among you has not referred to another person with an off the cuff contextual remark as sweetie, bud, shakes, brother, babe, hon (HOLLER BACK B-MORE!), friend?
   First of all, if you are offended by such slangery, get over yourself. There are millions of people dying all over the world because they do not have enough food to eat or potable water to drink. There are reporters being killed, by the governments, of the countries they live in, because of what said reporters write down or say in front of a camera.
   Secondly, the reporter who was called "sweetie" was not even offended! But alas, like a Shakespearean antagonist, the media must have its pound of flesh. Thank goodness, too, because they have all run out of interesting things to talk about regarding Indiana Jones 4.
   Finally, a wag of my finger (Colbert Nation RAISE THE ROOF!), to GMA (Good Morning America) for reporting on the possible derogatory effect of a man referring to a woman as "sweetie" with the juxtaposition of "sweetie-gate" and a scene from Will Ferrell's COMEDY (Yes, I said COMEDY. C-O-M-E-D-Y.) "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy?" Bad form, GMA. Bad form.
   
   
2. MySpace hoax leads to teen's suicide
   
   How depraved an indifferent does one ADULT person have to be to pose as a teenage boy, on MySpace, lure an unsuspecting teenage girl into an online relationship, and then treat that teenage girl so viciously that she kills herself? The answer: VERY!
   It is already hard enough to raise a child, today, (from what I hear.) let alone a child who suffers from depression. Now, on top of those already daunting tasks, parents have to beware of adults who are out for some good ol' fashion iRevenge.
   The only wisdom I could impart on the parents of the world (based on my limited interaction with all types of fellow human beings) is hug your kids. Love them with all of your heart. Put them above your needs. If you have made the decision to raise a child then that is what you do: RAISE YOUR CHILD. Do not ignore them. Do not abuse them. Do not teach them hate. Do teach them love.
   Interesting legal note: the crime happened in Missouri. Back in December, Missouri prosecuters declined to pursue charges due to the lack of any violated state laws. Now, the case is in California Federal Court with charges of conspiracy and accessing protected computers to obtain information to inflict emotional distress. In my "learned" opinion why not file simple involuntary manslaughter charges? The element of recklessness could be redefined by these facts, for sure. If the defendant, in this case, gets 20 years, I will be surprised.

Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.
-- Matt Damon, Rounders

This is one of my favorite quotes from Rounders! I think it speaks volumes for society, namely, if you can still recognize that society is insane than you can count yourself lucky; you are still sane!

Ralph Macchio Rules!

Two words that should not be used in the same sentence: "dang" and "coy pond."

"Its Mother's DaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaay... I'll be..."

I do believe that Tom, Mark, and Travis said it best via their "ode to mothers" ballad Mother's Day, when they said, "It's Mother's Day."

To all the mothers out there (the following title does not apply to any woman who has shirked her God given responsibilities in the name of Salems and Strohs... Shout out to Kathi A.!), you rock! Today is your day! Enjoy yourselves! Its a celebration!

"Unofficial" Coat Posse Wiki: The Loose Fist of Disgust

The Loose Fist of Disgust:

A sterilized hand gesture used to communicate the user's disgust toward a particular person or regarding a particular situation.

To make the Loose Fist of Disgust, raise either your right or left hand towards your intended target. With your palm facing towards you, curl all five of your fingers, as if you were grasping an imaginary tennis ball.

Not intended for those persons under 21, persons with heart problems, nursing or expectant mothers, Please gesture responsibly.



Source: Jimmy White, CP Soulz, Charlotte, NC

Negating Hillary in Pennsylvania? Hooray!

Chris Todd (MSNBC, Political Analyst) stated, tonight, if Obama wins 57% of the vote in North Carolina then he will have effectively negated Hillary's lead in PA. Oh my! How scandalous!

Another look at the numbers, older (over 65) white non-college educated men and women are more likely to vote for Clinton... hmmmmm... I wonder why? I know, and I think it rhymes with "pace-ism."

Cinco/Cinco/Dos Mil Ocho

Happy Cinco de Mayo! As important to Mexican Americans as Christopher Columbus Day is to Italian Americans, however, with a tad bit more drinking and a little less genocide.

Misconcepton of the day: Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day. In fact, The 5th of May commemorates an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Igancio Zaragoza Sequin over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. Mexican Independence day is celebrated on September 16th.

On a lighter note, the theme of the day is love. When we were in American Eagle today I watched this Dave Matthews video (LOVE IT!):



On top of this, I want to slather on some more love. The movie of the day is Lars and the Real Girl. This movie helps you to realize that no matter how counter cultural you act all you really need is LOVE.

To echo Di, the birds in Charlotte are acting very odd. First, dive-bombing birds. Second, there is a flightless bird (although, I think it should be flying.) chilling in the bushes in front of my house. Third, a similar flightless bird totally stepped to me as I was meandering from the pool to la casa. When I say stepped, I mean flying a "B line" right at me then coming in for a landing mere feet in front of me and finally blocking the path so that I had to adjust my ingress to his egress. Fourth, bird fights. Phew! If we had earthquakes, I'd say we were due for one, buuuuuut we don't. Therefore, I'd say Hitchcock is calling.

In honor of this special day, It is time to highlight a present day revolutionary: Subcomandante Marcos.

Early and Often

EARLY VOTE! Do it. DO IT NOW!

I did. NC has an early voting system. No registering to vote. Just walk in, tell them who you are and WHAM-O. You can vote.

This is my first experience with early voting which is similar to regular voting except for the excuse to not vote. However, I neglected to do enough research into the local races therefore I only cast one vote today... for HOPE!