"That's it! You're outta here!"

A "Jim White Adventure" is an occurrence that happens to this author when he is either off gallivanting around the globe or rocking it out solo in Charlotte... regardless, these "Adventures" seem to only happen to me when no one else is around (sort of like Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones).

Any who, I had quite the "Jim White Adventure" yesterday. Aside from recanting my "Adventure" to my lovely wife. Alyssa, I recently recanted the tale to my brother in the law (unlike a brother-in-law) Richard Zmijewski. What follows is the transcript of our conversation... enjoy!

10:04 AM me: hola?

10:08 AM Richard: Coma estas?

me: estoy bien! e tu?

Richard: Muy bien, gracias!

10:09 AM me: i scooped your ass

Richard: how so
oh with Trina
congratulations, now all 2 of your readers were better informed
BURNED

me: lol

Richard: lol
sorry
that was mean

me: zoom zoom zooooooooooooom

10:10 AM Richard: question for you:
10:11 AM If you were a hot dog
would you eat yourself?
I know I would

10:12 AM me: id cover my self with relish and brown mustard... id chow down!
how about this sh%#
10:13 AM im going to blog about it later but ill give you the 411

Richard: sweet

me: my plane from minneapolis to charlotte was delayed last night
because some a$$#@!& would not get off his cell phone
we get on the plane
he is on a call
10:14 AM the flight attendant (fa) asks him to end his call
he ignores her

Richard: wow

me: this guy is sitting in an exit row behind me
window seat
she asks again
nothing
she tells him to hang up
he pretends to
10:15 AM another fa comes by and he is texting
the new fa tells him he has to stop and power off his phone
he pretends to
the first fa comes back around and sees him texting and she says, "thats it youre out of here!"

Richard: Tell me you intervened and f&@%!^* kicked him in the balls

10:16 AM me: this is all happening as we are rolling to the runway
ERRRRRRRRR... pilot hits the brakes and takes us back to the gate

Richard: wow

me: they present him with a "violation pamphlet" to which he says "im not
f&@%!^* reading that"
10:17 AM we park at the gate and the second fa asks him to get his things and come to the front of the plane
two cop cars roll up, they cuff him, and peace out

Richard: I hope this ends with: an air marshall tazered him to the ground and he burst into flames.

me: federal charges B$&TCH

Richard: NICE

me: no air marshal on the plane
10:18 AM or atleast he did not make himself known

Richard: so they kicked him off?

me: all in all i get into charlotte and hour late
yup

Richard: wow

me: kicked his a$$ off

Richard: douche bag mcdouchery
Did everyone clap

me: seriously
pretty much
10:19 AM we almost had an uprising

Richard: I would have clapped with a big "f%$# you farewell"

me: what was even better was i asked if i could have his window exit row seat and they said sure

Moral of this aerial "Jim White Adventure" is if you don't hang up you get locked up!